Thursday, March 12, 2009
I love my life!
I really struggled last week with a house that looks like it never gets cleaned, or tidied, or have things in the right place for any length of time at all...mostly that was due to a visit from the landlord, and my usual stress-about-the-house time of the month.
This week there is no particular stress on me about tidying, but because we started with a relatively-clean state, it's just been so much easier to keep up...even though I got a stinking cold this week as well (or possibly an allergy thing since I've been eating copious amounts of dairy since stopping eating meat).
Anyway, it's still been sitting in the back of my head that I wish I didn't have to be cleaning and tidying so much. I wish I got a bit of help with the whole she-bang.
I read a snippet of a Daily Groove post (which I still get, but rarely read), and I think it was basically this...if you feel like a victim or a slave, something isn't right.
I wondered if I *did* feel like a victim or a salve. Not a victim, I chose this way of life. But yes, some days I do feel like a slave. I realise that is *my* problem, not anyone else's, but it is how I feel sometimes. I didn't know what to do with the thought, but this week I'm ready to tackle it.
I have a few people in my life who like to tell me the kids should be doing this or that- and on a certain level I agree. If they helped out, I would have more time to play and hang out with them, more time for the fun things-the reasons I wanted to be a mum (which did not ever include cleaning).
Yesterday, Princess started putting away all of Tombliboo's cars. They've been out for a day or two, and gradually got themselves spread all over half the lounge. Noone asked her to do that. Noone even mentioned it...she had no particular reason for wanting them put away- certainly, a mess like that has been part of her life for most of her life, and it hasn't bothered her unduly. (I think I'm the only one in the hosue who gets bothered by the mess).
So I feel like it was a special gift to me. Maybe it wasn't- but it is a job I would normally have done, and she saved me from it. I was enormously grateful. I thought about other scenarios...me asking her to put the cars away, and she a) doing so, or b) saying she would do so, but not, or c) ignoring the request, or d) saying she wouldn't, but then doing it anyway, or e) me putting them away as usual.
There are probably more possibilites than that, but none of them are as wonderful (to me) than Princess deciding to put away cars of her own accord, just to be helpful.
All the same, the mess in the house was such that that small (but wonderful) bit of help was not even obvious to anyone but me. Instead of really thinking it through, all the swirling and very disjointed thoughts in my head culminated in a big , "Guys! I need some help!"
Jolted, the kids looked at me wondering what was next. I esxplained that I was having trouble keeping up with all the mess, and I wondered if I wrote a list if they would choose one thing each to do to help.
"Remember I like to clean the floors- I just need help getting the bucket and stuff", said Princess.
I wrote down "Clean Floors" with a check-box, and then "Washing", "Baking", "Dishes", Clear and Clean Table". I remembered J-Man lies to clean the toilet (I know, weird!), so I wrote that down too, and he imediately said, "Oh! I'll do that".
So we set about our jobs. J-Man dithered about, and while I was doing the washing, unbeknownest to me- he washed the dishes. He stacked htem in a way that meant they would never dry, and he also washed them in cold water (!!! 10 years old, and doesn't know we wash dishes in hot water?? Got to stop these tapes in my head...this boy willingly did the dishes today!).
He has been asking all week for homemade crackers, and I got some made. He asked this morning for hash browns and brownies, and I got the brownies made as well.
So, did I just need to ask? Is that all that was missing? I need to try that again today!
The phone rang, and I plonked myself down on the couch to feed Tombliboo nad have a little chat. Princess came along looking cheeky, and I just knew she must be carrying ice...she popped it down my pants and shirt, and annoucned to J-Man (also looking cheeky), "You turn J!"
I said in as boring a voice as possible, "Wonderful...ice in my knickers...I love my life."
But I do...I really do.
Photo Note...you must know that if we are having cake, Tombliboo will need a candle.