How people learn

Just in case you're wondering if your children are learning anything much right now...I have been there. This week J-Man (nearly 11) decided he would like to do a stop motion video. He found software that he thought looked good. It was $US295. He looked around and found a trial for the same software for free.

I watched him at work, so skillful though he had only seen the software for the first time an hour ago. He made it look terribly easy, and the end result looks reasonably simple- but there is so much that goes in to even a short animation.

I thought about how cool it was that he decided to do this, and that he did it without a teacher, without any assistance at all actually- beyond reading help files and googling questions he had.

Then I got to wondering if everything he did last week, that was nothing new, was somehow "less than" what he has done this week. Crazy really- because all that went before helped get him to this point.

I thought about how he learns, with a bit of a cruise, just enjoying life, then a sudden flurry (like a whizz round an off-road track) then back to the Sunday drive. I realised too that it's a bit how I learn.

Looking in at my life, people wouldn't say "My goodness see how much she learned today"...or "Yes, I see it- a little bit more than yesterday, progress is being made".

Real life isn't like that. In school you get nice little dollops spoon-fed, and children can often recite what (the teacher said) was learned toady. Real life learning is far more random. Far more beautiful.

Princess discovered this week that she can read upside-down. It never occurred to her to check before, but it came up naturally whilst waiting for a bus, and it was cool to watch.

When J-Man gets home, I'll see if he can work out how to put his little animation on to here.

Not good...

Tombliboo had a bad accident on Tuesday night- he likes to climb on the climbing frame, then from there to the washing line, then hang there, or swing himself and jump (or drop) off on to the grass.

That night he missed something or other- my first time not watching him do it- heard him scream, ran for my life and found him curled up in a ball...I didn't really look at him too much, just snuggled him and brought him inside, then we noticed his bleeding knee and thumb- getting set to get him plasters, then looked at him again and saw the world's most enormous bump on his forehead.

I have *never* seen anything like it, and I have seen big bumps before...this was much bigger than a golf ball- i wish I had taken a photo, because it is difficult to explain the size of it- it sounds like an exaggeration, but is not.

Anyway, too busy for photos- he had been silent when I picked him up, and I didn't click at all until later that he was knocked out...he then proceeded to scream, and refuse to be put down...I showed the neighbour because I thought he probably needed to see the dr, he agreed...I borrowed their car, and drove to the hospital (not knowing where it was).

We waited for ever, then Tombliboo fell asleep- still alternating between drowsiness and screaming/moaning, but never getting off my lap.

The dr was concerned about the height from which he had fallen, and the size of the lump- by this time far, far smaller and still 6cm by 4cm...then he started to worry about a bleed on the brain, and while he thought (and hoped) Tommy would wake up fine, he couldn't say for sure and would hate to miss it- so requested an urgent ambulance for us to go to Starship for a CT brain scan.

He told the receptionist he needed the ambulance here in 10 minutes, no more than 12 for a suspected brain injury, and I held myself together only just. By this time Aimee was crying at the thought of losing her brother, and Josh was trying to cheer us all up by being supremely optimistic.

I arranged for Ben's Nana to pick the kids up from Starship Children's Hospital to take them home (already 10:45pm), and to call Ben to let him know what was happening (he had gone to Kerikeri a few hours before). Also rang J9 for moral support, and when we arrived at the hospital (miles after we should have I reckon), she and baby M(2 months) were waiting for us, as well as Nana.

Tomblioo slept for most of the ambulance ride, and they even took a blood-sugar sample without him flinching...when he eventually did come to, he spoke normally, and seemed ok albeit a little drowsy (but most chidlren would be at that time anyway). I had concerns about the CT scan- any radiation on such a small body can't be good...but J9 told me afterward that it is actually 100 times more than an xray! That is every pulse too, and there is no guarantee they will get the right shot in one attempt. He was also going to need to be sedated because of his age.

I opted for some more monitoring, so he was attached to an ecg, pulsoximeter and bp machine- until 5am...so the infernal beeping, and then fast beeping at the smallest change in readings made it impossible to rest.

In the morning, he woke perfectly lucid, with barely any swelling, and wanted to see Josh and Aimee and go to his house. They agreed he was unlikely to need a brain scan, and gave me a checklist for things to watch for over the next 12 hours. We were released around 9am, and then caught a bus and walked a bit to Ben's Nana's to pick up the kids. J9 met us there and took us to North Shore hospital so we could pick up the neighbour's car, and we went home.

He is very well now- the bruise on his head is very light, and his black eye is pretty decent, but lightening each day. He's annoyed at me for moving the climbing frame again, and really, really wants to hang on the washing line- but we'll leave that for a while I think.

Once again I have been helped by amazing friends and am very grateful we are all happy and healthy.

If you're happy and you know it...

Clap your hands (don't eat them!) :0)

We are having such a cool week!

Yesterday we had friends arrive out-of-the blue, and that was lovely.

Then, we received a giant Lego pack, purchased after selling unwanted toys.


The kids finished the Lego in a few hours, and had a blast building it all.


Then our (awesome) neighbour came over with an armchair he and his wife were going to give to the Sallies after purchasing a new suite. It's not any old armchair- it's a la-z-boy, and it is superb!

He also brought round a compost bin he has made for me! I have been hanging out for a compost bin, and burying food scraps so as not to send them to the landfill...but it is a pain, and I don;t need another garden plot.

Every time I think I have set aside money to buy a compost bin, I use it for something more pressing...and I also just discovered they are far more costly than I had supposed. It's a real boon!

Today we went to visit unschooling friends in the morning, then walked through a bush to get to a cool park and meet up with other home edders for a picnic.

The children had a fabulous time together, then we went back to our friends' home, and enjoyed another few hours with them.

In that time, the kids also had a swim at one of their friends' homes, and then we got dropped home as well (instead of having to catch a bus).

Now the kiddos are fed and happy- watching a Scooby-Doo movie, and all is right with the world :0)

Announcement

No easy way to say it, but I left my husband (or nearly 14 years) in September.

The children and I have moved back to Auckland, and are renting a place in a nice neighbourhood- close to good friends, and with lots of room for us.

Some days I think I was nuts to do this, others I can't believe I didn't leave sooner...but the big news is that we are very happy.

In fact, the happiness of the children was what kept me there, and it turns out to have not been necessary. Of course, it's early days really, but for now we are all doing very well.


The children have made new friends (as have I), and we are growing plenty of veges...or at least- we've planted them- we're yet to sample more than a few lettuce leaves and a cherry tomato ;0)

We have all our stuff out of storage. We had to buy furniture since we sold all our's, but we got bargains at the local opshop.

Money is tight, but it was before as well...I am on a benefit, which I can;t like, but a kind friend did some numbers for me- and showed that if I went to work full time I would cost the government (and therefore taxpayers) an extra $15K than if I look after my own children. I'm sure this way is a load healthier for us all, even if it does mean we have to really think about every dollar.

We will stay unschooling, and I will stay close to my babies. Currently J-Man (nearly 11) is busy making online games through gamemaker...he has a fabulous knack for the mechanics of it- makes it look simple enough that maybe I could have a go at it one day.


Princess (7) is now reading quite well. Not fluent yet, but not far off. She plays every day with the neighbour's boys, and has a gigantic collection of plastic ponies that keep her busy for hours.


Tombliboo (just 3) amuses us every day with the funny things he says. He is taking a big interest in other children at the moment, and is a whiz on the computer. A little bit too friendly with delete buttons, but amazing to watch really.


Very sorry for those of you how probably deserved a personal e-mail (at least) to say this. It's not really easy to admit, and I have been hiding out just a little bit. Onward and upwards though...I'm certain this was the best thing for all five of us.

Shame

I'm reading in Parenting for a Peaceful World about Shame at the moment, and how crippling it can be. I'm not sure how I feel about all that is implied. I don't know that I carry a big burden of shame, and I guess in a funny sort of a way- I always assumed it was probably a good thing to feel embarrassed and remorseful when you've stuffed up.

It won;t come as a big surprise though to learn I don't much care for my children to be weighed down by such an emotion.

Robin Grille talks about how the predominant parenting mode of today )and the last 50 years or so) is "Socialising Mode", where parents no longer beat their children or treat them with physical cruelty...but they still attempt to control their behaviours, primarily through manipulation- one tool of which is shaming. It makes for very interesting reading, and I can see that the next mode, the "Helping" mode, is vastly different than it's predecessor.

It happened right after reading a few paragraphs of this particular chapter, that I had a little scene with Tombliboo (nearly 3). He asked for a drink in the lounge. I said no because we don;t have sugary drinks in the lounge, only water, and only water in bottles actually. This is because we are renting a fully-furnished place, and I want to care for the landlady's things as well as possible. I know how easy it is to spill a drink, with no intention whatsoever of doing so.

However, Tombliboo persisted, and eventually I agreed. The inevitable occurred, and what did my little boy do? He ran to get a cloth. He said, "I spilled the drink Mama. I just clean it up, I sorry to spill it- it all clean now." He was smiling, I snuggled him and finished the job. It was no big disaster (it had tipped on the lino, thank goodness), but I saw in that moment that he was not ashamed. He was sorry he had made a mess, he probably (or possibly?) gleaned that I had been right in what I had said...but mostly, he knew it needed cleaning, and he did it as well as he could. There was no shame. He didn't feel any, because I didn't make him feel it. There was no shame necessary, in fact.

Later in the day, he was cross that we were all playing a game he can't play (he attempts it, but it is beyond him atm). He picked up some cards, and yelled. "I gonna put these cards in da freezer! I gonna put dem in da rubbish! I gonna throw these cards everywhere!" I was a bit distracted with the game ,and didn't respond as quickly as I might have, but at that point, said, "I can see you are feeling very cross."

It was too late to stop him throwing the cards, but he *immediately* said, "Sorry Mama", and came for a cuddle. I cuddled him, and said, "I would feel much happier if you picked those cards up for Mama", and he did. No fuss whatsoever. I thanked him for his help, and we had a nice long snuggle.

Tombliboo is not as reasonable as J-Man and Princess were at his age. He has always struck me as being quite different, in that he wants what he wants (who doesn't?) but he won't be diverted from it. I think I am finally seeing that while he is not always obliging, he is getting there. But he is not doing so out of fear or duty, but out of respect and love for me- at least that's what I reckon :0)

School

School

I always knew home was better than school. It's just logical that a child will fare better in a family than in a room of 30 kids the same age. I remember when we first looked in to homeschooling for J-Man (he was 4.5 yrs at the time). I was told that if oen wanted to follow the NZ curriculum (which from all I had heard, I certainly did not), it woudl take a homeschooling family 2 hours a week.

I was sure they must mean 2 hours a day, which was still astonishing given tghat chidlren are at school for 6 horus a day. But no, it was actually 2 hours a week (instead of 30) that was required to get through the curriculum.

Ayyway, so I have always known my children were learning stuff. Recently I had someone suggest to me that J-Man is opposed to learning, that he doesn't like to learn, and somehow you would need to trick him or cajole him in to it. I didn't know what to say at the time, ebcause it did look just at that moment like it might be the case.

But upon reflection, I realised that J-Man loves to learn (as do all humans), he simply doesn't like to be taught, and he doesn't like learning to be boring...who does? He has always been like that, and here's the thing...learning is NOT boring when you are learning what interests you. It's fascinating. If you are used to a life of natural learning, learning what is important to you- of course you would find staged learning inferior. You may even come across as someone who despises learning.

When J-Man was 4, and nearly a fluent reader, I asked him one day, "How would you spell 'computer'?" He roleld his eyes at me, and said, "Mum! You're trying to teach me again and you know it doesn't work!" Yes, 4 years old...I have always known that he prefers to learn in his own way and without interference, but I must have forgotten briefly.

Anywya, so through the years, I didn't doubt that my chidlren were learning. I wodnered if they were learning what they would in school- but not in a worryign sort of a way, just curious. Actually, I suspected their learning was far broader. There's a quote I read once, which I won't be able to find now we're on dial-up...but it was fro ma Summerhill Graduate, and it was saying somethign like, "We did a bit of everything, and collected puzzle pieces over the years, and then suddenly it all came together, all the pieeces fit". It was as if to say, that while the learning wasn't metered out in even doses, adn they didn't know *what* they were learning or how it related to the whole, or even if it was going to add up...somehow it did.

I think my children's learning looks like a muddle probably from the outside. It is a little bit here and there, adn then nothing for a long time, and then a big lot of something seemingly unimportant (or certainly not from the curricum)...but it is making connections all over the place.

J-Man drew a picture yesterday of The Unschooler's Brain...this is my son who has drawn only a handful of times since he was 6. Suddenly he likes to draw, and he is quite good at it actually.

But to look at this picture, it really was a brain shaped scribble. But when you looked closer, you saw that it was firign all over the place. It wasn't ordered, it was a scramble. If you looked closely you coudl see puzzle pieces. He explained the drawing at length, and I thought, "Here is a boy who really understands how his mind works."

OK, so I'm an unschooling convert, lol, nothing new about that...but here's the thing. I sometimes doubted, well I doubted a lot every so often, but I tried not to project that on to my children. I doubted that they were learning as much as they could be. I doubted that school kids were learning little to nothign in 6 hours a day 5 days a week. It didn't bother me, or wish a different childhood for my babies...after all, even if they don't learn as much or as well as a child in shcool- I still think unschooling is superior. There is more to life than letters and numbers. Do I wish for them to be surrounded by clever peopel, or by kind? I want them to grow up free, to grow up doign the thigns they love, and no, I am not concerned that the ywon;t be abel to handle "the real world", where there are jobs and people you don't like.

I'm rambling...so, they went to school. And, well, I have to admit I was astonished by how little they did! I was. I thoguth they woudl do sooo much, and certainly so much more than at home. But it was not the case. OK, so J-Man only went for 3 days, and yes- it wa a fairly low-standard school...but still, I knwo now that our "doing nothing" days, still involve more learning than a day in school.

As far as written work goes, in a full day of school...J-Man brought hom a maths book with the following written.

2+2=2x2
2+2+2=2x3
2+2+2+2=2x4 and so on up to 12x2

The next day he did 3x, adn the last day 4x.

I felt certain they woudl just give him busy work, since they would have no idea of what level he was functioning at. But no, he assured me this was what the whole class was doing.

He typed a story on the computer, actually more of a short account of his weekend.

He wrote a line of e's, and a few Maori words. He probably wrote less than the other children, because his writing is laborious.

They sang songs (all in Maori), and they listened to children giving mini-speeches in Maori. They walked to the library (which apprently took a very long time, by the time everyoen was ready, and in a straight line). They chose books there, though J-Man already had his own book.

Then, they went back to class for "SSR", Sustained Silent Reading. He found that terribly frustrating, because he was excited about the possibility of reading a little more of his book, but unable to because of the constant interruptions. The other children apaprently wanted to know if he could *actually* read the book (he was incredulous at this point, because he was already up to pg 200), and they also asked him to spell daft little words.

They sang more songs, in conjunction with the junior class. A girl told on a boy (of 10 or 12) who was playing with a matchbox car when he was supposed to be listening. The teacher snatched it off him, and he had a tantrum "like a two year old". This morphed in to a gigantic fuss, whereupon the boy picked up chairs and threw them.

That was about it. Every day was much the same (minus the theatrics of the first, but with a few scrimmages thrown in).

I asked what else they had done, and ther ewas nothing. I can't see how 6 hours can be filled up with this little...and this is a class of 9 chidlren. How much less would eb done in a class of 30 (or 36, as was the case in some schools in Auckland)?

So, Kiwi_Mama and others who are wondering...whatever you do at home, be it big or small, it is most likely more than your child would be doing at school. It makes me feel sorry for school children in general, and the child I was as well. What might I have accomplished had I not been in school for 30 horus a week, 40 or so weeks in a year, 11 loooong years?

School

School

I always knew home was better than school. It's just logical that a child will fare better in a family than in a room of 30 kids the same age. I remember when we first looked in to homeschooling for J-Man (he was 4.5 yrs at the time). I was told that if oen wanted to follow the NZ curriculum (which from all I had heard, I certainly did not), it woudl take a hoemschoolign family 2 hours a week.

I was sure they must mean 2 horus a day, which was still astonishing given tghat chidlren are at school for 6 horus a day. But no, it was actually 2 hours a week (instead of 30) that was required to get through the curriculum.

Ayyway, so I have always known my children were learning stuff. Recently I had someone suggest to me that J-Man is opposed to learning, that he doesn't like to learn, and somehow you would need ot trick him or cajole him in to it. I didn't know what to say at the time, ebcause it did look just at that moment liek it might be the case.

But upon reflection, I realised that J-Man loves to learn (as do all humans), he simply doesn't like to be taught, and he doesn't like learning to be boring...who does? He has always been like that, and here's the thing...learning is NOT boring when you are learning what interests you. It's fascinating. If you are used to a life of natural learning, learning what is important to you- of course you would find staged learning inferior. You may even come across as soemone who despises learning.

When J-Man was 4, and nearly a fluent reader, I asked him one day, "How would you spell 'computer'?" He roleld his eyes at me, and said, "Mum! You're trying to teach me again and you know it doesn't work!" Yes, 4 years old...I have always known that he prefers to learn in his own way and without interference, but I must have forgotten briefly.

Anywya, so through the years, I didn;t doubt that my chidlren were learning. I wodnered if they were learnign what they would in school- but not in a worryign sort of a way, just curious. Actually, I suspected their learning was far broader. There's a quote I read once, which I won;t be abel to find now we're on dial-up...but it was fro ma Summerhill Graduate, and it was saying somethign liek, "We did a bit of everything, and collected puzzle pieces over the years, and then suddenly it al lcame together, al lthe pieeces fit". It was as if to say, that whiel the learnign wasn't metered out in even doses, adn they didn;t know *what* they were learning or how it related to the whole, or even if it was goign to add up...somehow it did.

I think my children's learning looks liek a muddle probably from the outside. It is a littel bit here adn there, adn then nothing for a long time, adn then a big lot of somethign seemingly unimportant (or certainly not from the curricum)...but it is making conectiosn all voer the place.

J-Man drew a picture yesterday of Teh Unschooler's Brain...this is my son who has drawn only a handful of times since he was 6. Sudenyl he lieks to draw, and he is quite good at it actually.

BUt to look at this picture, it really was a brain shaped scribble. BUt when you looked closer, you saw that it was firign all over the place. It wasn;t ordered, it was a scramble. If you looked closely you coudl see puzzle pieces. He xplained the drawing at length, and I htought, "Here is a boy who really udnerstands hwo his mind works."

OK, so I'm an usnchoolign convert, lol, nothing new about that...but heres' the thign. I sometimes doubted, well I doubted a lot, but I tried not to project that on to my chidlren. I doubted that they were learning as much as they could be. I doubted that school kids were learning little to nothign in 6 hours a day 5 days a week. It didn;t bother me, or wish a different childhood for my babies...after all, even if they don;t learn as much or as well as a child in shcool- I still think usnchoolign is superior. There is more to life than letters adn numbers. Do I wish for them to be surrounded by clever peopel, or by kind? I want them to grow up free, to grow up doign the thigns they lvoe, and no, I am not concerned that the ywon;t be abel to handle "the realworld", where there are jobs and epoepl you don;t like.

I'm rambling...so, they went to school. And, well, I have to admit I was astonished by how little they did! I was. I thoguth they woudl do sooo much, and certiqanly so much more than at home. But it was not the case. OK, so J-Man only went for 3 days, and yes- it wa a fairly low-standard school...but still, I knwo now that our "doing nothign" days, still invovle more learnign than a day in school.

As far as written work goes, in a full day of school...J-Man brought hom a maths book with the following written.

2+2=2x2
2+2+2=2x3
2+2+2+2=2x4 and so on up to 12x2

The next day he did 3x, adn the last day 4x.

I felt certain they woudl just give him busy work, sicne they would have no idea of what level he was functioning at. But no, he assured me this was what the whole class was doing.

He typed a story on the computer, actualyl more of an accoutn of his weekend.

He wrote a line of e's, and a few Maori words.

They sang songs (all in Maori), and they listened to children giving mini-speeches in Maori. They walekd to the library (which apprently took a veyr logn time, by the time everyoen was ready, and in a straight line). They chose books there, though J-Man already had his own book.

Then, they went back to class for "SSR", Sustained Silent Reading. He foudn that terribly frustrating, because he was excited abotu the possibility of reading al ittle more of his book, but unable to because of the constant interruptions. The other chidlren apaprently wanted to knwo if he coudl *actualyl* read the book (he was incredulous at this point, because he was already up to pg 200), and they also asked him to spell daft little words.

They sang more songs, in conjunction with the junior class. A girl told on a boy (of 10 or 12) who was palyign with a matchbox car when he was supposed to be listneing. The teacher snatched it off him, and he had a tantrum "like a two year old". This morphed in to a gigantic fuss, wheredupon the boy picked up chairs and threw them.

That was about it. Every day was mcuh the same (minus the theatrics of the first, but with a few srimmages thrown in).

I asked what else they had done, and ther ewas nothing. I can;t see how 6 hours can be filled up with this little...and this is a class of 9 chidlren. How much less would eb done in a class of 30 (or 36, as was the case in some schools in Auckland)?

So, Kiwi_Mama and others who are wondering...whatever you do at home, be it big or small, it is most lieely more than your chidl woudl eb doign at school. It makwes me feel sorry for school children in general, adn the child I was as well. What migth I have accomplished had I not been in school for 30 horus a week, 40 or so weeks in a year, 11 loooong years?

Parenting for a Peaceful World by Robin Grille

Parenting for a Peaceful World by Robin Grille
An excerpt from page 84...

"Helping mode parents attend to their chidlren's emotional development by listening with empathy to their children's expressions of need. Children's unrefined and spontaneous expressions of feeling and need are validated as never before, and this process begins at birth. Increasingly, we are coming to believe that babies know when they are hungry, how much they need to consume, when they are tired, when they need to be held, and when they need engagement or attention. A baby's cry, no longer thought to be capricious or meaningless, is warmly attended to without delay. It is the baby's natural biological and emotional cycles, not the clock o nthe wall, that govern the ebb and flow of nurturance- and the carer is led by the baby's cues. For this reason, the newest mode is often referred to as 'natural parenting'.

Toddlers and older children are benefiting from a greater tolerance for their expressions of feeling, opinions, wants and needs. In contrast to the censure of earlier modes, they are more likely to encounter empathy. What motivates helping mode parents is the desire to allow adn support the natural unfolding of each child's unique individuality."



This is a very important book, I'm not finished yet but would like to encourage you to pick up a copy. Please be warned, it will probably make you cry.

The Difference a Friend Can Make...

We've made friends with an unschooling family here...hooray. Suddenly everything seems a little brighter. They are fabulous people, and I just know I will learn a bucket-load from this lady and her amazing garden and home.

Our children all got along well, which is not always a given, but definitely always a bonus! They played together happily for hours, and just to top it off- we'll be going there again later this week.

Saturday

On Saturday we drove to Whangarei (about an hour and a half south) so that I could go to an Home Education Symposium. DH

took the children to the local library, then for (homemade) lunch in a park, before meeting friends at the wave pools. The friends used to live in Auckland, and had moved north nearly 2 years ago- it was wonderful for the kids to get together again.

Meanwhile, at the HE symposium, I got to meet several other home educators, including a large number of unschoolers.

Actually, it might have been the largest gathering of unschoolers I have been a part of (irl).

I got to meet one lady who's online posts I have enjoyed for many years. It was a real buzz meeting her at last, and attending her talk on Unschooling: Learning in Freedom. There was a lot of chance for discussion, and I got a bit carried away. For one thing, I find it hard to keep quiet about the wonders of unschooling at hte best of times, but in that setting I felt so comfortable, and I guess so starved of stimulating conversation for the last several weeks- I rattled on far too much. I felt terrible about it, but then I also had 3 or 4 people come to me afterward to discuss a matter further or to say they had appreciated what I had said.

I also know, alas from personal experience, how nutty radical unschooling can sound on first hearing of it. While unschooling for academics made enormous sense to me, having seen how much J-Man had learned without teaching...when I first heard of people who let their children choose their bedtime, or their breakfast, or how much television to watch...well, I honestly thought they were crackers.

It also took me a very long time (about a year, if I recall correctly) before I came to see that if I could trust my child to learn reading and writing and mathematics, I could trust him to care for his body as well.I still wish I hadn't banged on so long and taken over someone else's talk (not that I meant to do that!).

I got to meet Karen (waves to Karen), a closet blog-reader, and that was encouraging in itself that there are people who read my blog, and somehow the muddle of words inspires the odd one or two (very odd...joking, lol).

I went to another talk about "Letting Go", which was also very interesting. It was by an unschooling (solo) father, an ex-science teacher, and the process he went through- from intending to broaden young people's minds, to realising his naivete and seeing that being a teacher was no way to show love to children, to realising his own children needed him. It was terribly touching, and again there was a lot of great discussion.

I chatted to many different ones, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I loved, at the end, speaking to a teenaged home-educated girl, and realising with a shock that while I am (nearly!) 21 years older, I felt no different to her. She was awfully mature, and I wondered what I would think if I met myself at age 14. How can I be such a lot older than someone, but not feel it at all? Oh, yes, there is a mild crisis I guess- I am 35 this week! 35!!?? Ouch!!

dh and the kiddos picked me up soon after the symposium wound down, and we headed to Pizza Hut for all-you-can-eat (their
choice), and I ate a lot. This was not good, because I finally felt like I was getting somewhere with my weightloss plan, but the look on Tombliboo's face when he saw a large (huge!) bowl of jelly babies was priceless. He made at least 7 bowls
of icecream (some with chocolate sauce) and planted jelly babies in the "bath". And no, it was not a shocking waste of ice cream- his Daddy finished every bowl. Turns out Tombliboo prefers cucumber to jelly babies.

We left, very stuffed in more ways than one, and all three children fell asleep on the journey.

Choosing School, Part 2 (long)

Friday was Princess' second day of school, and J-Man's third. I enjoyed the day with Tombliboo, as devastated as I was, and I started to see good things about school. For one thing, I had all my jobs done well before they got home- when 3pm rolled round, I was ready. I enjoyed being with Tombliboo, we went to the beach and played trains, and he helped me bake. The day went surprisingly quickly.

The kids came home bursting with school. J-Man had won a book for being the top student for the week- kind of ironic, since he hadn't been to school for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week for 5.5 years, had done no school work- just played, had fun and lived his life. Then again, dh realised perhaps it was like a bribe, since we had said a decision would be made by Monday. Princess won a book too, and then she was able to choose someone else to win yet another book- naturally she chose, J-Man.

J-Man was very sure he would be going back on Monday, Princess seemed non-comittal though J-Man badgered her about it at every turn. I hoped a couple of days at home would remind them how much fun it was with us. We played a game of Settlers of Catan (which we currently play around 3-4 times a week!). Tombliboo (2.75 yrs) likes to be the banker, though he eventually hordes all the cards, and takes them away to play with his trains. Part way through the game, I was dismayed to hear J-Man announce ,"I can't stand this- my brain isn't being used, and I need to do school work!" He ranted for a bit more, before going to his room to bring out his school maths book. This annoyed me enormously, since he seems to have done just fine with playing games for 10 years, and I said, "If you haven't been using your brain all this time, why are you top of your school class?"

The weekend was fun, and I thought- if school is how it is to be, then I guess we still have weekends, and I can make myself as available as possible for them after 3pm too. Maybe it won't be that bad...but it bugged me to think of our family being like everyone else's- outwardly...there was no way I was happy about losing them each day. I kept thinking about that saying, something like "Being a mother means that your heart forever beats outside your body"...which I hadn't really felt like before, until suddenly 2 of my children, the most important people in the world to me, were gone for 6 hours a day. In truth, and not to sound dramatic- just what I really thought. I felt like I did when I miscarried. An overwhelming sense of emptiness, and I wondered how I would ever really recover. And where did I fit now- not with radical unschoolers, the only place I really ever felt like I fitted...and certainly not with the school mums who were glad of the peace.

A (non-HE) few people told me it must be nice to have a break, but it wasn't. I got the feeling that there would be a whole bunch of people quite pleased this had happened.

After dinner Sunday night, we discussed what would happen in the morning. The kids knew they needed to make a decision about whether or not they would be enrolling in school, and I still hoped that while it looked certain they would- perhaps after a few weeks, or at least when we move to our new house, they would want to come home. Hoping like crazy that this wasn't permanent.

When dh asked, "So- would you like to go to school every day?", Princess immediately answered, "No- I'd rather stay at home." I was all ready to say, "No worries- but you can still be home-schooled again if you change your mind." I had to recover quickly, and ask her to repeat what she had said. She didn't want to go back? Really? 2 days was enough to see that while it was pretty fun, it wasn't preferable to home. Hallelujah!

Then to J-Man, who I realised was the one who was really keen. Princess had just been going along for the ride, and said that the only reason she decided to go was because J-Man wanted her to. And, yes- if he asked her to, she probably would jump off a bridge.

And, blow me down if he didn't say he would rather stay home too. He said, "I like school, but I see it's too much of a sacrifice- I would have have so much less time to be with my family and do the things I want to do if I wasn't home until 3:10pm each day." Oh boy! Is it true? Did my children just realise for themselves how school is inferior to home? With no interference from me, and seemingly a fair bit of encouragement from the school corner...and after only 2/3 days? WHOOPEE!

Suddenly the world seemed normal again...but I was still nervous they might change their minds...but then I was also pretty sure, now that we had been to hell and come out of it so quickly- that there was little chance they would go permanently. They can think for themselves, they can make informed decisions.

J-Man got upset (really upset) with a game he and Princess were playing and I held my breath. That had been the catalyst for his decision to try school. I waited to hear he had changed his mind and he would be tootling off again in the morning. But no, he went to his room for a break, and when I looked in on him, we chatted and his equilibrium was restored. He went back to the game, and I wondered how long I will hold my breath each time they argue over Lego....but then got on with my private (and texting) celebration.

My children would not be going to school in the morning. They would be home with me- and I wouldn't quickly forget what life without them was like. I would make sure to cherish them, and let them know how much I enjoyed their company, and themselves. And Monday rolled around, that's what I did.

The big kids joined us in our itty-bitty double bed for snuggles in the morning, and we all stayed there way longer than usual. It was a very happy day, an ordinary day really- nothing earth-shattering, nothing different at all really- just a normal ol' day, but everything was different for me.

Choosing School, Part 1 (long!)

So often when people have asked in a panic, "What should I do if my child wants to try school?" I have given advice...but when it happened to me, I didn't follow my own advice as well as I might have.

For one thing, I was so eager to seem supportive (of my child, not of school), that I agreed instantly. I didn't push for further information as to what it was about school that they particularly wanted to try. I have always thought children should choose for themselves, but I was wholly unprepared for it.

For J-Man (aged 10.5 yrs), he wanted friends, he wanted something else to do with his time because our lives have been tipped rather upside-down lately. He was also curious about what went on there, what it was like, would he be good at it? I knew all these things because we have discussed this before, a few times.

Princess (nearly 7) was a different story- for her, it was all about the lunch. Honestly, you wouldn't believe how many directions could be given about the preparation of a school lunch. She was terribly excited.

J-Man's first day had been very interesting. For one thing, I had been unaware how small the local school was. There were 22 children. He was in the senior class with 8 others (and 8 computers). He had even seen a show- a boy much larger than him had been playing with a matchbox car in class, and when a girl told on him the teacher snatched it, and he proceeded to have (in J-Man's words) a "tantrum like a toddler". This escalated out of control apparently, until this child was throwing furniture!

Well, nothing I didn't see myself at school- but still, quite an eye-opener for J-Man. He has been worried about the school maths, but was amazed to find it was "Princess Maths". In other words, very easy. He saw right away that everyone in the class could write better than him, but he also discovered he quite liked writing (well, that didn't last- but he was quite buzzed about it for a day or three).

They had two trampolines which he enjoyed, and when they played sports, he asked if he could stay inside and keep writing his e's (I'm not kidding). Because he was only on a trial, they allowed it. I'm not sure if he would be able to avoid sports forever, but I didn't say so.

The children were friendly, and curious about him. The teacher was kind, and he felt the work was easy (which didn't make him wish it was harder, just be glad he hadn't looked silly). When I picked him up, kids came to ask me if I was J-Man's mum, and told me he was very clever, and a very fast runner to boot.

When Princess started, she was given a worksheet to do which the teacher thought she would need help with- but didn't. In fact she completed it before anyone else, and the other children were all saying, "Wow! She's really smart!" I think that was probably wonderful for her confidence. Where J-Man has never doubted his ability (even when possibly he could have- thinking particularly of when he was small), Princess doubts herself all the time. It seems quite out-of-character considering she is a very confident, sunny, happy little girl. For example, J-Man never doubted he could spell, never asked how to spell anything. Princess, otoh, has asked me how to spell "Happy Birthday" at least a million times. It had to be right with her. She eventually did start writing words for herself, and I was pleased because to me it seemed like a step up confidence-wise.

Anyway, she enjoyed her day very much, and was keen to go back on the Friday.

Meanwhile, I was struggling. I had no friends, no computer, no phone really (though I had some fabulous friends who texted me often), and it felt like my world was falling apart. dh seemed really tickled about school, and slotted straight in to "school Dad mode", trying to get them in to bed early and mediate with the teacher about the problems J-Man had (in what seemed like an attempt to keep him there). When one friend commented I would need to change the name of my blog, I felt crushed. Suddenly I felt like we're the same as everyone else. If the kids are in school, I can hardly be an unschooling mum any longer- and because that was what I had been for so long (and indeed what I imagined I would for a long time to come yet), I suffered a bit from an identity crisis. This was all exacerbated by the fact that I didn't want my children to realise I was devastated- I wanted them to make their own minds up without feeling pulled by wanting to please me. I was supportive of them, and listened well (I think), and when I needed a moment, would go outside and bawl my eyes out as quietly as possible. Only Tombliboo saw, and asked, "What's wrong Mama- why are you sad?"

I was very encouraged by my friend Cally (ex-unschooling Mum- with 4 grown boys), who reminded me that in all her years of this, she had seen many children try school- only those with very strict homes (she calls them section 59 homes, lol), or those children with very clear educational goals stayed longer than 6 weeks or so. I also knew that our life at the moment is utterly different to what it was, and what it will be that I didn't blame them for wanting something different. But there remained a nagging doubt that maybe they would prefer school to home. I couldn't see how that could be possible- what school child would choose school on a Saturday?

There is so much that is wrong with school, and it wasn't at all what I wanted for my children. I wished (briefly) that I could be one of the sugar-is-poison-and-so-is-school/mummy-knows-best mums and insist it was not an option...but I knew that I would no more keep my children home against their will, than I would force them to stay in school.

I'm Back!

Well, sort of- we only have dial-up and while the whole world knwos it's slow, I think most people don't rememeber just *how* slow!

I will try to keep things brief here, and elucidate as time (and internet connection) allows.

We are still living in the little bach on the beach. It's quite lovely really, but annoying to be so far from town and people in general. Teh hosue is still at least 2 months from completion.

Ben is unemployed, but working on the hosue as often as possible to try and get us there a bit quicker. I have done 3 days work in 3 weeks, which is not much, but has helped just to get a few extra bits and pieces to make our lives a little more interesting.

Tomorrow we are heading to Whangarei for a home education symposium. I can't wait. J-Man thinks it is silly sicne we've been homeschooling for 5 years, so what do I need to hear about it. But I am excited about meeting more people, especially Kerrin from our kiwi unschooler's group, who's posts I have enjoyed for over 5 years, but never met personally.

I also hope I might be a help to somebody there- funny to imagine people with children just 5, or not even. The last conference I went to- that was me. Wondering how I would go about homeschooling with a toddler as well. It's funny to think of really. I worried about so many things quite unnecessarily.

Ben will look after the kiddos, and hopefully meet up with some friends of our's that live there.

It has been quite lonely here, but I was managing alright because I liked being with the kiddos. Also, with such a small hosue the cleaning is done fairly quickly, and I have been able to play(and be) with them so much more than when we were in Auckland. I also wasn't busy on the computer, which freed up my time- but at a cost. No friends at all is pretty draining. Well, I shouldn't say that- I've had some awesome friends texting me very regularly, and cheering me up no end.

Anyway, I was coping as I said- but it all went to pot a few weeks ago when J-Man decided he wanted to go to school. I'll talk about all the whys and wherefores in another post, but suffice it for now to say- he went! And then he convinced Princess to go too.

And now they're home. And everything seems right with the world once again.

Quick Update

Hi Folks :0)

No time at all, and my first time on a computer in 3 weeks.

We have made it to Keriekri (nearly 3 weeks ago). We were happy at the bach, but Tombibloo in particular really couldn;t understand why he couldn't see his Daddy. So, we are renting a place up here until our house is finished (at least 2 months away).


The place we are in is very cute, very small- but plenty big enough for us atm...also, not much to clean- Whoopee!

It is on a lovely private beach, and we are very spoiled...we eat breakfast whislt watching the tide come in, herons prnacing about, and all manner of birdlife to boot.

The kids are happy...we all are. In a way, life is in limbo- Ben has work atm, but only for 3 weeks, and we are unsure of how many hours each day he will get until the day arrives. He takes the car each day, so we aren't really making friends yet.


Still, happy, really happily, J-Man and Princess are getting on better than ever- playing ponies for several hours each day.


We are unplugged in a sense- we still have dvd's , but no tv or comp0uter...and it really is great :0)

Not that I wouldn't mind a computer her eand there- but really, I love spending extra time with the kiddos.

We've learned to play a board gmae we were given 3 years ago and haven;t opened (!), and have taught the kids to play Up and Down the River (To hell and back), 500 and solitaire.

Time is up, unfortunately...but I will try to get on again soon :0)

Unschooled Timestables

The other day J-Man (10) and I were discussing timestables for no particular reason (honestly- why were we discussing them??).

I commented that most kids his age in school would know their timestables by now, but that it wasn't a worry for me because he was able to work them out, and if he ever decided they would be useful to know quickly- he would work out a way to memorise them.

He said he wasn't sure he could work them out, so I asked him if he could work out 7x8.

Veyr quickly he supplied the answer, and I was mroe than a little amazed.

I asked him how he came to it.

"Oh- it was easy Mum- I just added 16 to 40."

"But why 40?", I asked, because I couldn't think what was obvious about that at all.

"Half of 80", he answered.

We dug a little deeper, and this is what I found.

When presented with the sum 7x8, my unschooled 10 year old multiplied 8x10, halved it, and added 16 which he knew was 2x8.

10 x 8 = 80
80/2 = 40
2x8= 16
5x8 + 2x8= 7x8
= 56

Then he floored me by saying he wasn't any good at maths, it isn't really his "thing".

Peekaboo!

Hello...just popping in to say "hi" while we visit Auckladn fora few days.

Everything is goign well at the bach except

a) Tombliboo misses his Daddy teribly. He wakes eveyr morning crying, though this morning it was only a statement, "I want my Daddy", then on to the next thing...turning on the lights to see the rain- which brings me to the oter exception...

b) RAIN...oh my goodness, you wouldn't believe the rain! It is daily. I'm not joking. Every day it rains. Some days it rains fro the entire day. No, that's not quite true- it rains and rains and rains, and hten it clears, and you jump up to get your jacket (just in case it rains again) and head to the beach...but before your jacket is done up- it rains...again.

Right now, I find it comical, but I'm sure one day I will want to say words I don't usually say.

On Tuesday, I took masses of clean, but soaking washing (re-spun) to the laundromat to be dried. I bought a clothes horse to try not to have this problem again. We should be ok.

J-Man doesn't care that's raining- he wants to go to the beach regardless, in his jammies no less. I'm not so motivated, but trying hard.

We foudn a swimming pool that is veyr cheap (hooray), and had a blast there on Tuesday...but had to leave before anyone was ready to get the washing before the place clsoed. The only drawback is that under 3's must where a swimming nappy. I said my son wouldn;t liek that, and that he hadn;t worn nappies since he was 7 weeks old, but the rule remains.

We didn't get in the pool for quite some time...every time I got near Tmbliboo with the dreaded nappy, he hiffed it as far away as possible. Eventually (adn sadly) he saw that I was not going to let him in to the pool until he had it on. It still wasn't easy to put on him, but we did the deed, and he lit up like a christmas tree when we got in the water.

I let the kids choose something up to $10 from a shop that day as well...the only condition was that it wasn't food. J-Man chose books...yes that's right...my never-reading son, chose books! Not only that, he read them before we got home! Not only that- he had been humming and haa-ing over whether or not to buy the books or a stuffed panda, and told the sales lady he chose the books because they are more rewarding. She said it warmed her heart- it near stopped mine beating.

Today we visited a Playcntre, and they were very welcoming. We will go once a week, and Tombliboo will ahvea ball (though they did insist he put his clothes back on today when he stripped off). Princess will love it too, and didn't want to leave today. J-Man is veyr welcome, and he found plenty to do, but also felt awkward in parts, not really thining he belonged- especially when he needed to use to bathroom, and discovered toilets made for 2 year olds.

I think it will be a fun adventure. I hoep I can keep my giggles to myself when chidlren are asked to "put on school legs and arms". No, I don;t think I will be able to. I might just need to chat to the supervisors abotu that one...or not. I'll see. I'd like to think we can make a difference there, as well as just having a cool place to hang out and paint and play on a cool playground, etc.

Ben came to visit us last weekend, and the kids nearly toppled him when he waled through the door. I had a neat mother's day, with breakfast in bed love from Ben and Princess. I got gorgeous handmade cards, even one from my husband- turns out he misses me.

Ben took the kids to the beach while I had "a break", only I didn;t really knwo what to do with myself, so swept the bach, adn did the dsiehs and some dinner prep instead.

We went for a drive to a park, and for the kids to buy little treats. It was really nice. Ben is missing us all terribly. I forogt how terribly he does on his own.

I'm amazed I have not felt removed from real life at all...it's fun. I love being with my chidlren, don't miss adult contact at all- though I will enjoy it whenI get some :0)

I've done piles of puzzles, finished a book I started over a month ago, and begun another one I started last year, and never quite got in to. I don't know why I didn't- it's brilliant...Animal Vegetable, Miracle.

J-Man wants to go on here now, so I wil lsign off, and hopefully post again before we head abck to the bach.

We have no internet anywhere there, since the conecctions are so terrible, it takes 30 minutes to upload the mail, and look at the bank statement. So, we live without, and it isn't a problem.

One of my bach dreams was realised this morning when Tombliboo woke up and didn't cry for Daddy, merely said "I want my Dad", and got on wiht things...turning on the lgiht to look at the rain, and get a book.

Then J-Man came in to bed with us for snuggles and Hop on Pop. Princess would have joined us but (bossy) Tombliboo told her to sit in the lounge. The bed it a mite too small for 4 anyway, but 3of us snuggled in the bed, listening to the rain, and reading Dr Seuss. It was lovely.

J-Man has gone back to watching tv with his siblings, I can carry on...

We are eating dinner at 5m each day! I know...crazy! But we don't need to wait for Ben to get home, and so we are doing everything earlier. We are all in bed by 9:30pm most nights, some nights as early as 8:30pm.

The bach is very relaxing, even with a toddler.

We had a power cut one morning, which was disconcerting since the water is on a pump. I'm prepared for next time, sort of, but hope it isn't too regualr an occurrence.

The kids have made a "base" in the sand dunes, where they would like to hang out more if it weren't for the rain. J-Man has colour in his cheeks from all the running in the wind.

I've got a tonne of questions in my head about our lifestyle, and no good answers.

I notice that he needs a project of sorts to be happy- but it must be of his own devising. He is so happy at the moemnt. Just like when he dug the mudbath at home, or the big hole in the front yard. Some sort of purpose beyond the computer seems to inspire him, and the outdoors and the exercise is just what his body needs.

Only he doesn't see it...and nothing I think of grabs him. I'm not sure where my thoughts are heading on that count, but I like how things are now. I don't ever want to dictate to him when he can and cant go on the computer, for exapmple, but I know also how easy it is for him to get sucked in by it. How easy it is for anyone. I can't believe how many hours I spent in front of hte thing when I could.

He's written letters to his best friend, and drawn pictures for no other reason than that he wanted to. He's read 100 pages of Twilight, and invented games to play while we are stuck inside. He's happy, for the most part.

He has moany days too, which drive us all to distraction- but a quick reminder that this is how it is, and we didn't do it to torture him, and he's off finding things to do.

My time is really up now :0)

My Last Hurrah...

For a while :0)

Ben is about to pack up the computers ready for the big move tomorrow morning.

There still seems plenty to do before then...and after then with all the cleaning...but I (we) have done masses.

I wish this could be a loverly long post about all the cool things we've been up to...actually not that many cool things, but we have spent some time with friends, and lots have been happening while the kiddos grow and learn at home.

I can't even add photos for some bizarre reason. I have a neat one of Tombliboo stacking cans of drink...I know, what happened to minimising sugar?

Well, when I have a big job (and what could be bigger than moving out our lives from the last 3 years?) I need Coke. I don't apologise for it, or even wish it wasn't so- it just is, and that's life. I need chocolate too. It would be nice to sit down for a meal some time soon.

So Tombliboo got busy stacking them- he managed to build a tower of 8 coke cans before I got the camera. It was quite impressive. I really didn't think he would get past 5. Then he stacked them according to colour (Sprite and Coke), and then alternating colours. The side-by-side towers...then a big long row. He had so much fun with those cans, it was crazy!

I've got a really cute one of Princess, who has lost both her top front teeth...she looks adorable, and hilarious all at the same time. I've got several of her with some items she won in a mega prize pack on Sticky TV.

It was super mega...she got a Dora packpack, towel, duvet set and dvd, a Diego backpack, towel, duvet set and dvd, Twister, Guess Who, an mp3 player (which is her current fave), pink Lego, a Narnia book, a Charlie and Lola activity book, some Slime, some more slime that glows, a Wall-E soft toy, a BalaNZe Board (which is super-cool btw), and an Avalanche snow-maker.

There's a fair bit of it that isn;t interestign to her, which we will eb able to sell when we get settled, and get her somethign she does want. But it was a massive buzz!

J-Man has been busy making a video clip for his best friend. It makes me cry. I'm not much or a cry-er, but I blubber like a baby when I see how much he adores J12.

So, it's all go. Ben will be at het truck place at 9am, back here as quickly as possible. Grandma and Poppy will eb here too with a van, and maybe a trailer...and then we will load everything up. I've got a box or two to pack tonight before I sleep, but mostly it's all done. Phew!

I more or less emptied the garage today- was very ruthless. Put it all out the front, and before I had even done so there were people to take it all away.

We only have one shelf left inside, and possible a couch...some shelving in the garage which we'll offer to the neighbour's if N doesn't want them...and that's about it.

Oh, there are plenty of dirty tools and so on outside, which will need to be arranged on to the truck somehow. But mostly, it's all under control.

Once the truck is gone, I will clean for a bit, but I think I'll need to take off right away to take the kiddos to a show we have tickets for. It will be a nice break from the monotony of constantly cleaning/packing/tidying/throwing away.

I think I might go to sleep actually.

The truck needs to be back in Auckland by 10:30am Sunday, so Ben will decide if he wants to do a round-trip in a day, or leave early Sunday morning. There'll be a bed for him in Keirkeri (unlike here, lol).

Actually, we have had offers of beds, but I think a night on the floor might be fun.

Then, Sunday morning will be devoted to cleaning as much as possible in as short a time as possible, so we can possibly enjoy some time together before we split.

Ben will be staying with Nana, and the kiddos and I will be heading for the bach.

It's as neat place, right on the beach...it's kinda basic, and yet not at all! There's a toilet now!

Mostly, by "basic" I think I mean there's no phone. Cellphone coverage is pretty dicey. We get texts though, so it isn't as bad as it once was (you used to have to drive for a few minutes to stand at some rocks and dial out).

The kids can't wait...they are sooo excited! Not Tombliboo, I don't think he knows what is going on- he keeps telling me about what is missing and saying, "I want to go home", when we're already here.

I'm looking forward to really being with them. J-Man asked where Twilight is. He read 60 pages on the first day we got it but none since. We will eb rading a lto more books, andthat is ezxciting. I shoudl ahve organised hwo we get library access today, but I didn;t...we'll ahveto wing it.

Or get books out hedre and drive a bit further to return them (an hour). Not sure yet...but I am lookign forward to lots of snuggly book-reading.

I have a picture in my head not really based in reality, of us all snuggling up lsitneing to a wodnerful story (read by me wihtotu lsoign my voice, or fallign asleep).

Normalyl Tombliboo steals the book adn hides it, adn the same with it'sreplacement...maybe it will be differnt in a different place.

I'm also imagining that maybe the kids will pile in to my bed (those that aren't already in there, lol) for stories in the morning ,since I won;t be up checking my e-mails (because I can't).

I hope some of that comes true.

I hope I can learn to be a "lazy", not completely, just enough to relax...really relax.

As I type, Tombliboo has gone to sleep early (9pm), and J-Man and Princess are having fits of giggles playing a bizarre chasing game which has something to do with the green slime from her prize pack. Ben is packing up the her computer, and I need to get pack to all my millions of jobs.

Hopefully this lets everyone know what we will be up to.

I hope to add snippets whenever I am able...which really might not be very often...so it's adieu from me for a little while.

You'll be hearing a lot from me when we are settled in our new house, in a new town.

If anyone would like to visit, please do :0)

Quick Update

No time at all for blogging, but I figure this is better than telling everyone who is curious what we are up to!

We leave here in a week, less actually.

The basic plan is that on Saturday, Ben will drive a 2 tonne truck up to Kerikeri with the rest of our stuff (minus what we really need).

He'll be aiming to get back the same day, so he is available to take the kids out on Sunday, or stay here and help me clean.

I'll be cleaning here all day, though we might slip away to a show we have tickets for. Then, we'll sleep a night on the floor (since the beds will be gone) Saturday, and possibly Sunday- though I think my reference (if the cleaning is all done) will be to head to the bach Sunday night.

Ben will go to work from there, and go home to Nana's for the week, while we stay at the bach, and then we'll see him in the weekend.

This is just a loose plan. We'll do the same thing the following week for his last week of work, and then he'll probably head straight up to Kerikeri to look for work (which we gather is pretty scarce, and only of the burger-flipping variety).

Meanwhile, we've sold lots of stuff, including the fridge which will be picked up tomorrow. I've been keen to go fridge-less, so now we will (for 4 or 5 days, lol). It's a lot easier to get my head around while we live here, and I can walk to the shop to buy meat.

We sold the washing machine, but the lady has the worst feedback I've ever seen on Trade Me, and surprise-surprise, she hasn't shown up to collect it. So annoying when there were 5 bidders, adn 24 watchers. But I have said we'll relsit tomorrow if it's not colelcted and paid for today, given that it's 9:20pm it looks liek that is what wil lbe happening.

I've kept back 4 days clothes for the kiddos and I, and a plate each and a bowl and a set of cutlery. This is working well for not having too many dishes to do...not so much for having dishes there when you need to use them, lol.
I have no idea how many boxes I've packed- one load has already gone, and there are over 40 here waiting for Saturday, and it's not done yet!

I can't imagine what it will be like to have no computer for 3 months, and my initial thought of using a cyber cafe occasionally got busted open by reality- Tombliboo in a cyber cafe? I don't think so.

I am really looking forward to it though ,and hope it will be a wonderful time of closeness for my kiddliwinks and I...it will be lovely (I hope).

The big stress this week was buyign a car- Ben's company car is our's for less than 3 weeks now. We finally got one last weekend, but it turned out the dealer had lied to us on several counts.

After masses of discussion amongst ourselves and with family and friends and the LTSA and citizen's advice bureau, and finally the seller, we began a process of trying to get our money back. The dealer eventually did give us our money back, which was fabulous, though it was minus the nearly $400 we had already spent on the car. Still felt worth it to not own a car that probably won't pass it's next warrant.

We have bought another car today, and our previous experience left us far better prepared for the task. More to come...

Leafy Fun...

Sunday

J-Man and Pricness getting along well...


Completely impossible to get a nice photo of 2 kids and a toddler...


Daddy and daughter...so sweet. They went swimming together this afternoon. J-Man didn't want to go- he was making a game on the computer, as part of a competition he and J12 had created for themselves. Tombliboo couldn't decide if he wanted to be home with me, or swimming with Daddy. In the end, we got it wrong- he stayed behind, enormously upset, and the jobs I thought I might get done while he was gone has to wait.




Princess has lost her first top tooth. We forgot to put money under her pillow. Well, I didn't forget, Daddy did- I went to bed earlier than her (as usual). I managed to cover that up by saying I could see a coin...phew! But she was upset the tooth wasn't taken. I thought- wow- I have a child that believes in the tooth fairy...it was taken last night, but today she asked me if she could please see it again since she has forgotten how it looked. She's just playing along with us.



J-Man had a haircut...here he is, just woken up, not really happy about having to go look for a car.


Some nice photos of the kiddos having fun today...we bought a car! 8 months without one, I forgot about it and haven't taken a photo- will add one tomorrow :0)

The Easter Egg Hunt!

I got up early to pack lots of boxes in preparation for dh and his parents to take them al lup to Kerikeri.

I also needed to plan the Easter Egg Hunt...it was a big success, and cousin M11 (who always says just the right thign) told me, "You sure know how to make a good egg hunt."


First the kiddos needed to find little hunting eggs, and marshmallow eggs around the yard.



Tombliboo (2) did not want to get dressed (as usual), but was eventually persuaded at the thought of an egg hunt. He found loads of them, and was buzzing about each find.


He unwrapped every one, and once the next stage was done- stripped naked again, as usual...Cousin M11 thinks it's hilarious, but is a bit concerned about his future (lol).




Next they each had a treasure hunt to decipher to get their "big" egg...only this year it was a teeny bunny and a bag of chocolate buttons. Noone complained, and really that was enough chocolate for anyone.


Princess (6) had written clues which she read wihtout any hiccups apart from mixing up b's (and d's) and not knowing what the "ruddish" was. That is an interesting point about reading- she never used to muddle b's and d's, it's a new thing. Quite strange. J-Man always muddled them. I should have thought of it before, but maybe it's time to say, "If a word doesn't make sense, try replacing the d with a b" (lol).



J-Man and M11 had jumbled word clues. J-Man found his surprise very quickly, then helped his cousin when he really was stuck.

Tombliboo has a treasure hunt idea I learned from Jackie...I gave him a spoon, and said it needed to go in the right place and he'd find another clue. He put it in the drawer, then found a pair of his undies (lol, they were clean)...he went to put them away and found his Thomas the train water-tower. He put that away and found his easter bunny.

Still more reading...

Princess continues to look as though nothing is happening on the reading front, but I know it is...

She is really noticing words. She came to me last week and said, "Mum! Did you know the start of the word "diet" is die? That's funny isn't isn't it?"

Yes, very funny- I believe someone has even made a joke of it...I was surprised a 6 year old would notice.

Yesterday she noticed that "Mum" and "Mom" are like "Hannah"- they are spelled the same forwards and backwards. Somehow the name "palindrome" hadn't sunk in, but that's ok- the meaning is understood :0)

She also continues to be a bit frightened by the prospect of reading...or maybe daunted is a better word. It's kinda strange to me, considering she is daunted even whilst doing it...and so different to J-Man, who just bowled ahead and had no thought (ever) that he couldn't do it.

But still, so wonderful to watch the unfolding. I'm still baffled people think school is important. How can it be? Here's a little girl loving life, just playing with little ponies and hanging out with her family...and the reading is progressing, without any bother at all.

It is as it was created to be- a way to look after children so their parents can work. And they can learn to fit in, and do as they're told- to become good soldiers and workers.

Phew...

I have been so busy, there's been no time to write.

Packed 60 boxes last week. We will move in 3-4 weeks...just got to find out how much notice we need to give here.

Hubby has 4 weeks work- he may get more, he'll discuss it today...but it's time we got ready to move.

Our new house won't be ready for several weeks after the work runs out...so the plan, at this stage, is for dh to move North, and stay with his parents, while he looks for work.

The kiddos and I will go visiting :0)

Right now we're living in chaos really, trying to pack up the last three years of living- throwing stuff away, giving stuff away, selling stuff (ridiculously cheap, lol), but all with a deadline.

We won't have an internet connection after we leave here- so posts from me will become very infrequent over the following 2-3 months. I'll still try to post the odd update, so you will know what we're up to :0)

Howick Historical Village

We went to the Howick Historical Village for the first time ever, and it was fun!

We used to live very close to this place, and pass it often on our way elsewhere, but we never quite got round to visiting. I'm so glad we finally got to go.

The trip was with 100 home-educated children, so it was a big event.


The children were all split up according to age and gender, which I thought might cause a problem with J-Man not wanting to go off alone, but his best friend J12 was there- so it went off without a hitch.



Tombliboo wasn't quite feeling 100% (as evidenced by a performance on the bus the likes of which you have probably never seen before in your life), and eventually I needed to move away from Princess as well, and sit in a quiet place where he could breastfeed off to sleep.


Some time, after a pretty good day, but not quite after we had had enough- he got naked, and it was time to leave. J-Man felt embarrassed that others were laughing at us, but I am a bit used to that now- I was impressed my toddler managed to keep his clothes on so long!

More Reading

Princess keeps chipping away at breaking the reading code. She doesn't know she is, but I can see it.

She'll ask me as she's writing on her picture..."How do you spell 'handmade' again, Mum?" I can't remember how many times she's asked me (and I have it written on a piece of card near the art table for her as well), or how many times she has written it without asking.

But my job is to answer questions, and so I do.

Yesterday, she was studying her (rather disgusting lolly) for an extraordinary amount of time as we waited for a train, then she announced, "I think this says "Triple Power Push Pop" , and she was right.

Today she asked me to read to her, and so I did. I said I wanted to do some more tidying, but she argued that books were more important.

I said, "You are more important than the tidying". She agreed children are important, but books came next.

Later I was feeding Tombliboo and she asked if I would read some more. I said I would, or if she wanted she could read a book to Tombliboo. She wanted to read, and did very wel. She stopped a few times to ask what does "th" say, or some such thing...but mostly she read alone.

It wasn't a hard book (Maisy), but she did it, and she enjoyed it. She read "today" without sounding it out, and I was surprised. She didn't know how she knew it.

The bit that really amazed me was when she sounded out "delicious"...she was reading for meaning as well as sounding out every word. She read "di-eh-ll...delicious". I said, "You just read 'delicious'...that's a very big word- I'm going to faint!"

She said, "I don't see why- I only guessed- it had to say 'delicious'." And she was right, no other word beginning with d-e-l woudl have made sense in the sentence, but it was really cool.

Our Week so far...

Princess has been enjoying doing more colouring by key pictures. She drew this super-cool picture of Hubby and I dancing, looking at each other...it's very sweet- like me heels?


J-Man has been busy painting his LOTR figures, and making games on the computer.

Tombliboo has been making a mess in every room, and being cute. I found him yesterday cleaning up a gigantic rice bubble mess, saying, "Oh no, Mama- I (s)pilled it all ediwhere."


We had a slight breakthrough yesterday too, when I observed him pulling dvd's off the shelf and letting them crash with a giggle...I asked him to stop 3 times in different ways, but he carried on. I picked him up and sat with him in the kitchen and asked if he was ready to pick up all the dvd's...he said Yes! I asked if he'd like me to help him, and he replied yes to that as well. We started picking them up together, and he said, "Sorry Mama- sorry to do dat a dvds Mama."

N and B2 came to play, and we all had a lot of fun- and got some work done too...the same as usual, put away the magnetic marbles so the kids can throw them all ediwhere again and then put them away, and then watch them fly round the room again, etc.

But that kind of crazy-making (terribly standard) activity is not a bother at lal when there are two of you enjoying a chat while you work.


Tombliboo asked for a book about space over a month ago, and I ordered it as soon as possible- it finally arrived, and he has enjoyed looking at it. Princess wanted a trial of Reading Eggs and that came too, but she has only used it once...she loves it though. I imagine it would be more appealing to girls than boys, but it is fairly cool (except for the r-e-p-e-t-i-t-i-o-n, though Princess copes with it because she enjoys the program enough).

The kiddos found Twister (I didn't even know we had it) and had a ball trying to get as tangled as possible.



There has also been a bit of reading, a lot of chasing, a lot of ponies and Lego, and a few movies.