Kids who hit

Just because we are discussing this on our local list, I thought I would mention it here...

I've never struggled with a toddler/pre-schooler hitting a baby...but I do have a toddler who likes to push younger babies over sometimes. Not all the time, but more than once- and that is enough.

If I hadn't had Tombliboo, I probably woudl have supposed there was something odd about the family...now I can see there is very little I can do about this fact...except try to prevent it.

Since I don't really know *why* Tombliboo likes to push people over (I have a wee suspicion that newly-walking babies look a bit like skittles, and possibly he is thinking it would be fun to watch the baby topple?) I just have to keep close lest the desire strike.

I have noticed that preceding any episode, there is nearly always a bit of a cry for help...this is usually in the form of actually saying, "I want to go home."

This is him letting me know he has had enough, there is too much stimulation for his brain, or he is tired, or hungry, or just wants to be in his own space (where people love him best of all).

If I am too slow, and Tombliboo does hurt someone...I apologise to the parent, and then get down at eye-level with the child who is hurt, and apologise on Tombliboo's behalf.

By this time Tombliboo is probably bawling- he knows something is not right, I'm not certain really if he has gleaned that he has caused it.

After I have done as much as I can (I think?), I snuggle Tombliboo and tell him, "You hurt the baby- you made him cry. He didn't like being pushed over, and now he is sad- I hope he feels better soon." I might invite him to come and see if the baby is OK. I might suggest saying "sorry", but I don't push that- there is o point. Children, like adults, say "sorry" when they feel sorry.

Sometimes people feel so terrible about what they have done, but so confused or even angry about the consequences, they are simply not ready to say "sorry" right away.

Tombliboo, who is not a bully, has been pushed and shoved a few times himself. It is so uncomfortable watching a mother try to force a child to say "sorry". It's worse when they don't do anything, of course, but I can tell when a child is genuinely sorry, and it has nothing to do with saying a word.

Anyway, I'm rambling. This link is wonderful for ideas about children hurting other children. It's aimed primarily at those with siblings, but it is really about any child relating to any other.

Family Day at the Zoo

We got buy-one-get-one-free vouchers, so headed off to the zoo for a special day out.

We stopped off to get hot chips, and took them to a park- where some chickens really wanted to join in.


The zoo was wonderful...you see so many interesting things. You also see ugly things...kids being ugly to parents, parents being ugly to kids, kids being ugly to each other.

Some of it is too much to bear, and I find I am needing to shield Tombliboo's eyes, or Princess' ears.


We got to see the elephants being moved to a hill...we were really close- that was cool!



J-Man had decided to take his notebook in and record how many animals he saw. I thought he would give up after a few minutes and I'd be carrying the notebook- but he persisted until the end- he saw a total of 111 animals today.



We saw some really adorable things. The tamarinds for instance...too cute! Tombliboo said, "Too cute! Like me, Mama!"



But nothing was more adorable than watching a (teeny) baby meerkat breastfeeding! Wow..it was brilliant, absolutely brilliant.





dh called us over because we were "missing something"...giant tortoises mating. Nothing looks quite as uncomfortable as that...the female was so much smaller, and therefore younger, and really didn't look to be having any fun at all. It took the male 10 minutes to get off her when he was done. He might have been over 150 years old, lol.

I can't believe he actually took a video, lol- at least it is short :0) Nope, it won't upload for some reason- tried twice, might another time :0)


We had water to drink, homemade biscuits, and apples and pears whenever we were hungry...it was a really neat day, finished off nicely with pizza on the way home.

Earth Hour

The idea with Earth Hour is to turn off all lights for one hour once a year...seems a bit on the soft side to me. McDonald's are advertising copiously it seems- they will turn off their golden arches for one year...and then what? They are guilt-free? Lol, it's too silly.

I want to turn off all the power for an hour. I thought about the freezer, and decided an hour won;t make much difference. Whatever additional power is required to ge the temperature right again will surely have been less than all our other electricity-use. Besides, we've had power cuts for 2 hours with no big change to the frozen goods.

DH thinks that's crazy..."You only have to do the lights" (waaa, waaa, waaa). he wants to watch the tv coverage of Earth Hour. Why am I the only one that gets that that is ridiculous? Everyone quick- turn off your lights, and watch the television!

J-Man was not interested, and didn't see why we couldn't at least leave the phone on so he could talk to his best friend. I was starting to waver, and wondering if I was being a bit stubborn. I also didn't think dh would actually turn the mains off since he was getting set to dig his heels in. I found the switch myself.

Suddenly I thought we might need chocolate. DH insisted noone needs chocolate. I countered that he couldn't possibly know what every person needed, and I really did need chocolate! He became my voice of reason, reminding me that we are trying to stick to a budget, and *cough* I ate a whole block the day before :0(

I remembered the cookies in the freezer, so quickly turned the oven on (I know, I know)...I had 10 minutes before the switch went. I boiled the jug so I could have a cup of tea in the dark. I put the cookies in, and managed to burn them. DH thought that was hilarious...well, I didn't know. They had really only just got to the right temperature when the power went off...amazing. I honestly didn't know you could do that. I always turn the power off a bit sooner than the recipe says...but I didn't know I could heat it, turn it off and the cookies will be burned before I know it! Not really, really burned, but over done. Still yum.

By the time we switched the power off, noone was particularly happy...we were all getting at each other. Actually, Princess wasn't- she was excited about something different....and Tombliboo was having a blast- blowing out our candles. We started a game of Ligretto but none of us could really remember how to play...it was a bit slow (and a teensy bit boring), plus we had to be on the alert lest we tip over the candles, and Tombliboo meanwhile was wishing to distribute the cards (on the floor)...J-Man couldn't get one particular aspect of the game, and that was exasperating his father no end...then it all looked like it was going to get decidedly ugly, but it didn't.

Everyone chilled, thankfully, and settled in to enjoy cards by candlelight, with burned-smelling cookies.

With 10 minutes to go, when it looked like J-Man might do a happy dance and initiate a countdown...he and Princess went in to the lounge where they had set up mattresses on the floor, to do some dancing. Tombliboo joined in and we watched. I quietly slipped out and switched the power back on at 9:30pm, just as dh's phone alarm started singing. The kids were having too much fun to notice, and when they finally did, J-Man cracked us all up by saying, "I do believe Daddy's bottom is ringing- he has made a musical fart."

We explained the hour was up, and they begged (I'm not kidding) for the lights to stay off, and nothing to be turned on. Tombliboo was ready for bed, so we toddled off, and dh slept in the lounge with the "big" kids (for an hour or so).

I was thinking (beforehand) that I woudl like to do that every night to really make a difference...but I'm not sure now. It wasn't easy. I like the idea of going to sleep with the sun, but when that becomes 5:30pm in a couple of weeks, I don't think so. But maybe we will head for once a week...it was fun after all.

And it's Friday again...

Only one more day until Daddy is home again...the kids are always excited by Friday. It is nice to be all together, and to have dh here to share our lives. I would love for us to work out some way to be together more- I think people get along better when they're with each other more. He's never been too keen to work from home, but maybe we will make a new plan when we move to a small town.

We've had a really cool week. On Monday we all walked to the local swimming pool. It's the first time we have been swimming during the week since we sold the car (7 months ago). It was really neat, and I can't believe we haven't attempted it sooner.

Tombliboo fell asleep on the way home, which was just perfect.

Tuesday we went for a walk to the shops to get some more groceries, mostly because Tombliboo was desperate for Bananas. We all went in the evening after dinner to get the rest of the groceries, and J-Man and I walked on the way there to spend some alone time together (while Daddy stayed home and helped Princess make a crown). For his month day, J-Man wanted to watch Hellboy 2 with his Daddy, so we got treats for them to eat while they watched it...we hung out in the study watching Scooby-Doo on the computer...then went off to read stories in bed. I finished reading Matilda to Princess after Tombliboo crashed.


Wednesday, J-Man went with A and J12 (his best friend) to a science show for older homeschoolers, which he said was "more like a kindergarten". He's yet to tell me anything at all about it, so I'm guessing no real impression was made. J12 and his Mum stayed for the rest of the day, and for dinner. The boys get on so well, and have a lot of fun together. It always makes me think of when people say that teasing is a normal part of childhood, but it's not- it's a normal part of school and organising the pecking order...but it's not a normal part of childhood without school.

They're starting to notice how each other's lives differ- J12 wants to know why J-Man doesn't do schoolwork, and J-Man wants to know why J12 doesn't have "Month Days".

I guess he figured everyone has month days...I explained that it's just something we do in our family. He asked why.

Well it's like this...we had this gorgeous boy, and when he got to be one month old, we were so excited, so we sang "Happy Month Day to you!", then he got to be 2 months old, and that was so exciting, so we sang "Happy Month Day" again, and then he got to be 3 months old...and you get the picture. He's 122 months old now, and we're still celebrating.

Thursday, I copied an idea from Shady Lady's blog and asked Princess if she would like to write out a nursery rhyme, and draw a picture about it. I figured she would, and was right. It's the first time she has ever written between lines- I thought she would need them to get the whole rhyme on paper.



Then she wanted to "do more". She asked me to draw a picture of a clown for her to colour in, "but just his head- don't make it all tiny" (She can be very exacting!) I drew the picture and made a key for which colours to colour it. I made simple sums for her to work out, then check which colour (on the key). I don't normally do things like that, but she loved it. She wanted more and more and more. We did a policewoman, a witch, a princess and more.



Tombliboo didn't sleep during the day, and went to bed at 8pm. This hasn't happened in months and months, and it was so lovely. Princess has been asking to play Settlers of Catan all week- I got it out, but that was as far as I got...so we finally got to play. It was so nice to not have to protect everything from being hiffed everywhere by our gorgeous toddler. We may even try to do the same today. Princess said, "We would do this every single day Mummy!"

Meanwhile, Toimbliboo's understanding is growing. I asked him what his sister's name was the other day, and he looked at Princess and said, "Mama" with a giggle. I asked him his name, and he thought for a second and said, "Hat!", I asked his Daddy's name, and he answered, "Dodo". It was really cool to see his sense of humour at work. I'm also watching him listen more, and while he is still utterly unreasonable at times (and does not understand "Wait" at all...just keeps pulling me until one or both of us fall over), he is beginning to slow down just a bit.

I actually brushed his teeth for the first time yesterday. Yes, he is 28 months old and I have not been able to brush his teeth ever. I explained I could see plaque on his teeth and it was filled with germs that we really needed to get off. I asked if he would let me brush the teeth and he said "yes", and then he let me.


While I was busy drawing pictures for Princess, he wanted one too, so I wrote his name in big letters for him to colour. I said "T" and drew it, then he said "o" so I drew that, then "m", and added the final letter as well. He has written a few T's and said what they were, same with O. It's exciting to think he might write his name not to far from now.

Sunday

Daddy and J-Man got up early and went to The Game Workshop so J-Man could paint his LOTR characters, and get advice about doing so. They were gone for several hours, and most of that he spent painting his Cave Troll (which looks really cool!). He cut off the head of another character, and glued it on the base, painted it including some oozing blood. The men at the shop thought it was a nice touch, lol on the "nice", it was fairly gruesome- but it was a pretty cool idea.

Meanwhile, at home we made pancakes for breakfast and were pottering around- tidying up, doing washing and so on. Princess played in her room for hours, with her ponies. She is a real laugh...some days she complains noone plays ponies with her- but when I pop in to see how she is doing, she'll more often than not scowl at me for intruding on her special little world.

The big boys got home around 3pm, and started playing a new playstation game dh had bought. They had a very late lunch, and breakfast.

I made a potato salad, and got green salad ingredients together to go to the park. DH dropped us off, then went to pick up pizzas, he came back and we ate dinner at the park and played around.

As it began to get dark, we started playing with a soccer ball which was a lot of fun for all of us.

We got home late, and the kiddos started painting LOTR men, then playing with Lego and LOTR men.

Saturday

Already a month has gone by since my last Creative Memories workshop...that went fast! I couldn't get photos printed since the computer has died (again! Does anyone know of *anyone* who's computer dies as often as our's?). I'm hoping dh will work some magic and I won't have lost the last 3 months worth of photos and videos, but it doesn't look good.

This is apparently my fault because he told me to back it up- but I told him to do so since I never get to it, and I can't even find a cd with nothing on it. But that doesn't wash. If something goes wrong it is my fault, if something goes right it usually has nothing to do with me...lol, I'm only joking, sort of.

So, dh was to have the kiddos for the day while I was out working on my photos. He decided on a whim to look up if there was an airshow today, since he had seen a fighter jet doing a loop-de-loop when he was in West Auckland yesterday.

There was, so I scurried about organising lunch and sacks and sunhats and sunscreen (compeltely natural) and money the camera and drinks and a spare change of clothes for Tombliboo for them to take. We are still in the stage of taking spare undies and shorts for Tombliboo (28 months) but never need them...only I know (from past experience) that the day I don't take them, I will need them!

J-Man didn't want to go, which was no surprise- and I could see in advance how it would be- he would sulk all the way, but eventually loosen up and enjoy it. Ad he would tell me later it was "Awesome" or some other glowing adjective. No amount of telling him this would make the mood change, as I also know from past experience, and I saw clearly that from his pov he was being goaded in to something he didn't want to do. I apologised to him that he was being made to go somewhere he didn't want to go to, and commented about how hard it was sometimes to keep 5 people happy.

He also doesn't like having something like this thrown on him with no warning- I can understand that. I don't really like it either, but it is not often that dh is spontaneous, and this was very important for him. If his sight had been a bit better, he probably would have become a pilot at some stage.

Princess wasn't overly keen, but she loves to go out, and she loves being with her Daddy. Tombliboo just fits in for the most part.

I got dropped off at my class, and the consultant chatted to dh for a bit while I got set up. She came in and announced that my husband was taking his three (three!, she shouted) children to the Whenuapai Air Show Today. "He takes them all over the place", she said, "He really is fantastic". I thought so too, and I thought about how little I tell him so, or even think it. I thought about how often I have moaned that he takes the kids, but he doesn't get anything organised to do so...that seems silly really. So, he's not big on organisation- he takes his children out so I can have a break, and that is more than many men do. A lot more.

I had a great time with my photos...didn't get much done, but enjoyed it all the same. The plane dh particularly wanted to see wasn't being shown until an hour after my class had finished, but I had my book so I didn't mind. They didn't arrive until 2.5 hrs after my class because of the time it took to leave the carpark, but I was having blast with my Coke and licorice and a good book. I haven't read for that long in...goodness! When was the last time I read for 2.5hrs?

Naturally they had all had a great time. I haven't heard too much about it yet, but the short summary went like this...

J-Man...It was amazing! So cool! We had a great time!




Princess...It was great! I wanted the to make a heart and they did- I just knew they would!


Tombliboo...Planes a really loud, really loud!

Yet Another Week!

Time flies when you're having fun...and even when you;re not...but we are actually- and I have been extra busy this week not being on the computer, and have begun a new blog primarily for myself, but it might prove interesting for some.

The basic premise is to record my money saving ideas, and my current project- keeping a better eye on our grocery budget.

See, for the longest time- if anyone had asked me what our grocery budget was, I could tell them- but what was on paper, was not what was actually being spent...and my (personal) day of reckoning came when I decided to actually record what we did spend. What a shock! Well, not rally- I had a fair idea, I just wasn't quite allowing my mind to go there.

But now I am...the new blog is called Cheap As Chippies (cheap as chips was already taken), and you can see it here.


Back to our week...Saturday our cousin M11 came to stay the night, as did some unschooling friends from down the line (J, J and H6)...we all had a lot of fun together, and wish it could have lasted longer.

On Sunday we had a family BBQ lunch at Nana's- that was also a lot of fun, and the children enjoyed a really neat afternoon with their Auckland cousins. They played on the swing, and in the yard, went for a walk to the local park, and to the shop. The girls played with Nan's selection of toys, and they all just hung out and laughed together enjoying the sun. We also ate enormous amounts of delicious food.


Monday was the day before payday- the day we never have any money whatsoever, but it was fun. Princess and I (mostly here) made pizza for lunch, which was fabulous, and really quick too. J-Man realised we were low on milk, so took his own money, and went for a walk up to the shop to buy more, and came back with a treat for everyone as well.





Tuesday was payday, hooray- but a whole new type of payday. The plan was to spend $200, but not go back to the shop the following day, or the one after- but to stay away for a week. Very new for us, and not even sure it is doable- but today is Friday, and it has worked so far.



I also usually buy us lunch on payday, almost as an apology for being so poor the last few days and feeling sorry for the kiddos. They, on the other hand, aren't bothered at all- and when no bought lunch arrived, they didn't even notice. Funny that I get these ideas in my head about how they must feel they are "missing out", but they don't have them at all. Funny how it is usually kids wanting parents to buy lollies, but here it is me imagining they want them, and buying them before they even ask.

I also normally let them choose a bag each on payday, but this time only bought one bag for the 5 of us to share- and we still have nearly half of them! I've used some for a treat for the littlies after Storytime at the library, and some more for an after dinner treat for each of us, and still more to go on some cookies. Is anyone missing out? Nope. What kind of a ning-nong have I been?

Wednesday, J-Man went to be with his friend J12 for the day, and to a science class for older kids. He ad a great time, and came home exhausted as usual (he has to get up super-early so Daddy can drive him there on his way to work). I took Princess and Tombliboo to the library Storytime. It looked like we would miss it, because Tombliboo (very 2) was determined to take his bowl of porridge. I wasn't happy with that plan for obvious reasons, but eventually agreed he could sit in his pushchair (the one we never used until he turned 2), and eat it on the way, but not take in to the library.

We got there very late, and he still didn't want to let it go, didn't seem interested in eating it either...so I sent Princess in alone. She came out to say noone else had turned up (for the second week in a row) and the lady would wait for us. Eventually, after all the same discussions, he agreed to leave the porridge and run inside.


"Storytime" is a misnomer- there are usually only two stories rad, maybe a song (or two) sung (though not today since it was so late), and then the bulk of the time is taken up with a craft activity. This suits Princess down to the ground, bu is not much use for Tombliboo- adn also not what I have in mind when I think of "Storytime". We have been 4 times now, though I used to take J-Man fairly often when he was little. I remember commenting about this state of affairs then too.

It just seems to me that Storytime should be about stories. I think one day I should like to be a library story-teller, and engage lots of children in wonderful books that they wouldn't dream of leaving for the sake of a craft activity...and I won't use ridiculous ("look at hte ickle babeeee" voices, and change big words to teeny ones lest brains become stimulated and neurons get connected. I would do things very differently indeed, but for now the Storytime we are attending is fun, and Princess knows it is for pre-schoolers, so she tolerates the funny voice.

Tombliboo can ride the trike now...




Thursday, J-Man sold his Nintendo DS on Trade Me for $20 less than he bought it for. J and J2 came to visit, which was lots of fun, and when they were about to leave (nearly 7pm), Tombliboo wanted to get in their car. Then he didn;t want to leave...then in an effort to get him out quickly, and plainlessly, J said, "Do you want to come home with me Tombliboo?", and blow-me-and-her-down, he said "Yes!."

We didn't think he was serious, but he was, and eventually e agreed that he could go off with her, and Daddy would pick him up from her place shortly.

I had to dress the naked boy, which I didn't think he would agree to- but he did...and we put him in his carseat, and he said "Goodbye". It was astonishing, and I felt any minute he would say, "Hold the phone! You mean you're not coming/??", but he did not. He happily waved goodbye, and drove away. This is the boy who only just went out with his Daddy alone for the first time last week! What a difference compared to the child who is forced to leave his mother.

Daddy was there before they arrived, and brought Tombliboo straight home, though he would have liked to have gone and played with J2's toys. We all ate dinner, then went out (in a rush) for J-Man to look at Game Workshop and spend his newly-acquired wealth. He has been wanting LOTR figurines for a long timer, and finally got his chance. With only 20 minutes to make a purchase, he came away with just what he was after, and also got to speak to a man there who has been collecting the figurines for 21 years! He is planning to attend a free workshop with his Daddy asap.

He has already painted a couple of figures, and I am really amazed at his patience. I didn't think it would be his thing, but he has done so well. His best friend J12 has these figures as well, so it should open up a whole new world fro the pair of them...but already J-Man has realised he is short on paints, and at $7 a (miniature) pot of one colour, his pocket money will be spent quickly for many weeks to come.

Now it's Friday- I've been on here so long our porridge will just about be lunch. The kiddos have been busy watching Scooby-Doo, dancing, jumping on the trampoline, and painting LOTR miniatures (or watching J-Man paint).